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This work is Copyright ( Michael J. Natale
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Awakening
by
Michael Natale
michael@seewhatsinmybrain.com
1 John 1:8
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.
1 John 3:9
No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God's seed remains in him; he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born of God.
Four Years Ago
Marcus Palmer was one of the best criminal defense attorneys in Manhattan. He left court late in the afternoon, feeling on top of his game. He had just successfully defended a man who viciously beat a woman in Central Park in front of dozens of witnesses. Marcus’ skill in manipulating the system found a procedural error in the arrest, and the man walked.
Another win, he knew. One more for the resume. A handful more like that and soon one of the big Manhattan law firms would notice him.
It happened sooner than expected.
A few days later, a generous offer letter from Simons & Braverman arrived via FedEx at his office. Simons & Braverman was the biggest firm in Manhattan. The rock stars of the legal world held office there and pimple faced law school graduates gushed like groupies at the mere mention of the name.
Marcus couldn’t help but swell with pride that he had attracted their attention from his shitty little one-man show in White Plains. It was all part of a long, calculated plan that Marcus had put in motion years ago to bring about this very day.
He skimmed the offer letter quickly, flipping the first page over and scanning the second for a bold headline that read “COMPENSATION.” The words beneath it were just a random assortment of letters to his eager eyes, what Marcus was searching for was a dollar sign and a string of numbers – hopefully a long string with lots of zeros after it.
He was not disappointed.
Leaning back in his leather chair, he read the letter through as a matter of procedure. His lawyer’s eyes looked for something unacceptable but knowing he wouldn’t find it.
Marcus could not have realized it, but as he signed the letter and stuffed it back in the return FedEx pack, he had set into motion a chain of events that would prove unstoppable.
Events that were foretold when the world was newly made and the human animal was just learning to walk erect.
The simple act of putting ink on paper was a beacon that shone through all the barriers between worlds. Like an insistent signal it erupted across the folds of reality, it created a small schism in the usual orderliness that existed among levels of consciousness and sentience.
Those barriers that normally were buffers to keep incompatible dimensions from colliding trembled as the pen made its mark on the paper. They shivered, warped and eventually ruptured. The breach had been made; it could not be closed now. Not yet.
Something that lurked in the shadows between worlds stirred. It felt the call after eons in its deep slumber. It was intimately familiar with the feeling associated with the calling. A primal instinct, really, but one the creature welcomed.
After all, since the moment Marcus Palmer slithered howling from his mother’s womb, the creature had been stalking him. Finally, the time had come.
With a gleeful little chuckle, it stepped through the rift.
Now
Marcus rose through the ranks at Simons and Braverman with uncanny momentum. His record was nearly perfect. He rarely lost a case. His nickname among the others at the firm was “The Machine” because of his robot-like drive and attention to detail that always seem to be the sole reason his cases were won or lost.
Whatever the firm wanted, he delivered and they paid him handsomely for it. The few times he had lost in court, it was because one of the Senior Partners had told him to throw the case. He never asked questions, never had a moral crisis or a last minute change of heart. He didn’t want to know the dark and dirty secrets that the firm hid. They paid him too well to care.
He made few friends and never socialized outside of work with clients or other attorneys unless the firm asked him to. On an average week, Marcus put in eighty to a hundred hours at the office.
As a result, he was on the short list of candidates to be made Partner. All the while, the firm’s gratitude fattened his bank account tenfold from his White Plains days.
Tonight, he had to make an appearance at the firm’s annual Christmas party, an event he always dreaded. Making small talk with a bunch of elitist, over-ambitious attorneys was not his idea of holiday fun. It kept him from his work. Being away from his caseload never made him happy.
There was one bright spot in all of this.
His wife Lily had come down with a nasty virus that had left her bedridden for nearly a week. He monitored her progress daily, but not out of concern. He silently hoped that she would stay sick for just a few more days.
Their passion for one another had died a slow, miserable death years ago, to be replaced with barely disguised tolerance. They fought more than talked, and had built up so much resentment towards one another, they barely could stand to be in the same room together.
The plain truth was that Lily loved their bank account more than she did him. Period.
When it became clear that she would not be well enough to attend, Lily insisted Marcus go alone. This of course played into what Marcus wanted anyway, so he let her believe he was doing as he was told and did not argue.
Lily had an overbearing personality and felt the need to control every situation. She insisted on explaining to him how important events like this were to his career. The explanation came out as a teacher trying to show an especially dim child how to add or subtract.
The truth of it was, Lily had high ambitions for him and his annual compensation package that weren’t about to be derailed by her contraction of a simple illness.
Lily did love her extravagances and moving with the social elite of Manhattan wasn’t cheap. He didn’t care, as long as she left him alone. If that came at the cost of 80% of his annual income, then at the end of the day he considered it a fair trade.
He could always make more; the remaining 20% was considerable.
Marcus had just put his overcoat on when he heard her vomit into a large saucepan she kept next to the bed. A slow, satisfied smile spread across his face. It faded fast as she barked at him to come clean it up. Just like everything with Lily, it was more a command than a request. He sighed, removing his coat and gloves to go empty the bucket of puke.
He was twenty minutes late to the party and in a foul mood. He went straight to the bar. They had setup two bars and a hot buffet in the firm’s expansive law library. It was stuffy, pretentious and overbearing - exactly what he expected.
The normally soundless room buzzed softly with muted, private conversations. The steady rhythm of soft jazz piano drifted from some corner of the library that Marcus could not pinpoint. It smelled of expensive cigars and Polo cologne. The strange, masculine mixture was at odds with a swarm of women’s fragrances drifting throughout the room.
The conservative stink of Manha ttan’s financial royalty still made him uneasy. Despite all his success at Simons & Braverman, he didn’t really belong here. He had earned his way here; worked his ass off and made it to the big leagues through perspiration and being exceptionally clever in the courtroom. He hadn’t been born into it, and his blue-collar background fueled a contemptuous fire in his belly.
People who were born rich never knew anything but privilege and plenty. They never needed to look in the mirror because so many people were telling them how wonderful they were. Need never touched them, and want was a temporary inconvenience.
Let the whole world go to shit, Marcus thought, and most of these people would crumble right along with it. But not him…he would rebound, that was his strength. He had gotten where he was because of his brains and cunning, and he could do it all over again.
I’m like a cockroach, Marcus thought to himself, smiling.
Marcus accepted his whiskey sour from the bartender and gave him a five, even though the drink was four-fifty. The man’s tip jar was filled with tens and twenties, but Marcus would be damned if he’d tip the guy that much for an overpriced, watered down drink.
He turned from the bar took a long pull of the whiskey -- and saw her. Sheila Stevens. She was the absolute hottest piece of Manhattan-Bred-Ass ever to grace the firm. Watching Sheila move was like watching a Porsche corner – just fucking perfect.
Sheila was a hunter, though. She was an ambitious, female attorney attempting to succeed in a web of ego and testosterone that wanted nothing more than for her to fail. Marcus almost could have respected her having the stones to play the game with the wrinkled aristocracy of Simons & Braverman.
Almost.
It really pissed him off that Sheila had no qualms about using her best asset – her body – to advance her career and that he couldn’t respect. There was no moral high ground here for Marcus - it was simply an unfair advantage that men just didn’t have.
Everyone at the firm knew it -- expected it, even. Even now, there were half a dozen men standing around her, their wives abandoned, or like his, safely at home. The Queen was holding court.
Sheila laughed suddenly at something one of the men said, playfully laying a hand on his shoulder. Her laugh was a musical, sensual sound that was inviting and warm, even from across the room.
Marcus knew it didn’t really matter how good she was at her job, for the men she bartered her favors with, it was always about the sex. If any of them brought her name up in the boardroom afterwards, it was discreetly done. Nothing agreed upon up front, nothing out in the open. Plausible deniability.
Could she be that good in bed?
He’d never know. There were dozens of other young hot-shots in the firm that could offer her more on the way up than Marcus Palmer. It would probably be another year before she rose high enough in the firm to be threatened by his position, but he gave her credit for recognizing him as competition this early.
None of that stopped him from watching her now though. She had an athletic body whose lines were somehow still soft, graceful and curvaceous. The cut of her business suit accented her figure in a way that was both professional and sensual. Marcus knew it was deliberate; everything was with Sheila. That was part of her allure.
Eventually, she felt the weight of his stare and flicked her eyes towards him. Barely a turn of her blonde head, not enough to be a glance, but he caught it. Her expression was a smoldering warning.
He stared back, equally revolted by her and letting it show in his eyes – but not on his face. That was a smooth, expressionless mask. It was a facade he had crafted through years spent in front of juries an d judges, defending the worst of humanity in order to make a buck.
Well, several hundred thousand bucks, actually.
He sipped his whiskey sour and continued to violate her in his mind’s eye – and she knew it. More importantly, he wanted her to know it. Fucking with her head was passing the time and he could see it was driving her absolutely bugshit.
“Nasty little viper, isn’t she?” The voice came as a soft whisper over his shoulder, and Marcus turned to see who the speaker was.
An impossibly tall man stood behind him. Impeccably dressed in a black business suit, he looked like a funeral director. It wasn’t just the clothes though – he had the look of a man who spent more time with the dead than the living.
Marcus had no idea who the man was. He didn’t want to agree with his obviously scandalous statement without first knowing who the man was. For all he knew he was looking at one of her clients.
“Pardon?” Marcus said.
The man smiled, showing altogether too many teeth as his face stretched to accommodate a wicked grin. He leaned in closer to Marcus and gestured towards Sheila. His voice dropped even lower. “I said she’s a slippery piece of commerce, that one. Whored her way here, I imagine. With a body like that, I would hope it was getting some use, wouldn’t you say?”
Marcus turned back to the man and extended his free hand, “Marcus Palmer. You are?”
“Mr. Screech,” the man said with a slight nod of his head and another smile that did not touch his unhappy eyes.
Marcus did not recognize the name. “I’m sorry, Mr. Screech, I don’t think we’ve met. Are you with the firm or are you a client?”
“Neither. I noticed you admiring the young lady and thought I’d stop to chat.”
Marcus flushed. He hoped he hadn’t been that obvious – he was aiming for a subtlety that only Sheila would notice, not the whole damn room.
“Well,” Marcus said, lowering his voice, “I wouldn’t say admiring.” He took a sip of his drink. “I was looking, that’s true – but Hell, who wouldn’t, right?”
“Yes,” Mr. Screech said in a low hiss, “Even I can see the temptation of the flesh with that one. After all, we are but men, are we not?”
The smile that Mr. Screech displayed was horrible, like a grinning skull. Marcus only laughed, enjoying the diversion of the peculiar man’s company.
Mr. Screech lowered his voice further. “I bet she’s the worst kind of bitch too. Almost certainly she’s a tease – unless you’ve something to offer in trade. In all probability, she has never had a genuine orgasm of her own all her life. You can see it in those poor, soulless little eyes -- no one ever cared about her enough to try that hard.”
“Probably,” Marcus agreed. He realized that he had been thinking exactly the same thing.
“I would suppose a girl like that needs someone to show her what truly using another person is all about, doesn’t she? A real man – a man like you, I dare say - could probably give her the best sex of her life. Not for power or political favor, but just for the sake of pure, animal lust.”
“That would really piss her off, wouldn’t it?” Marcus said more to himself than to Mr. Screech. He felt warmth spreading in his belly, the flush of desire.
“It would,” Mr. Screech agreed. “She is used to always being in control of the exchange. Probably only really knows how to be on top. Women like that need to be conquered. They need to be taught. Shaped. Taken.”
Marcus drained his whiskey sour. “I do believe you’re right, Mr. Screech.”
Mr. Screech leaned in closer to Marcus, so close his mouth was almost touching Marcus’ ear. The man’s breath stank of an open grave, a horrible rotting smell that Marcus somehow instantly identified. “Why don’t you go talk to her?”
Why didn’t he go talk to her? So he was married? So were half the men in this room and nearly all of those would probably end up bedding someone else other than their wife tonight. Why not him?
His thoughts instantly rewound back to earlier that evening, when he went to empty the saucepan Lily had spattered with vomit. She had laughed at him, mocked him as he emptied the pot into the toilet and cleaned it out for her. She thought it was funny that he was “some big shot lawyer” and she could still make him clean up her puke.
Fucking hilarious, Marcus thought. Why not me?
At that moment, Sheila turned again. Her eyes locked with his for an instant but by now his mask was gone. Marcus was fuming.
Finally she excused herself from the small clutch of men she was speaking with, and marched towards him. She walked with confidence and grace, completely sure of herself and in control.
Perhaps she would slap him, make a scene here in front of the Senior Partners. Perhaps she would quietly tell him to fuck off, as she had done on several occasions before he truly knew her and had tried to make conversation.
As she advanced upon him, time seemed to slow – Sheila’s steps became sluggish to his eyes. Like a film running at half speed, she plodded towards him. The sounds of conversations in the room became muffled. Marcus felt as if his head had been stuffed with cotton.
Sheila became a smudge of white and powder blue, her features indistinct. He felt the flush of desire and heat race from his lower abdomen straight up through his chest. It burned past his throat and settled right in the center of his brain.
It seethed there like a boiling ocean of energy, his entire skull tingling with pins and needles. Marcus wondered if it were possible for your head to fall asleep, like a foot or an arm after sleeping on it wrong.
Then all of his senses came alive at once. Somehow until that moment, they had been imprisoned inside the fleshy cage of his body, dulled and numbed. The fire in his skull grew white-hot. Strange impressions came fast and furious, nearly overwhelming him.
He could smell her approach – could pick out her perfume from the sea of fragrances in the room. He could even identify her sweat. He knew what she had to eat for supper before coming to the party – could smell the fruity tang of light raspberry vinaigrette on her breath. He smelled a sugary mint fragrance, and knew she had used a breath mint before entering the party to try and cover the dressing.
He knew what the taste of her skin would be like if he ran his tongue from her earlobe to the nape of her neck, salty and hot. He could smell her sex, delicately perfumed beneath a layer of nylon. He could feel its heat, even from here.
The room snapped back into focus with a lurch and time resumed its normal march forward. He felt a sense of vertigo, almost as if stepping down from a carousel while it was still moving. Impossibly only seconds had passed, he could see that now.
Marcus felt as if he were going to pass out.
Sheila took the last steps towards him, that same stupid, counterfeit smile that did not reach her eyes threatening to turn into a snarl. Her voice dropped to a deadly whisper. “Palmer, just what the fuck do you think you’re staring at?”
Marcus only managed to stammer, “Nothing, I was just…” but the words caught in his throat as he felt all the energy boiling around inside his skull erupt outward and slam into Sheila like a fire hos e.
Something strange came over her.
Her face went instantly blank, the phony lawyer-smile gone. She was staring into his eyes as if drugged; the look of derision replaced by one of genuine interest and undisguised lust. Her face lit up as she smiled candidly. Her blue eyes sparkled, as if she had just noticed he was there and was happy to see him. “Yes, Marcus? You were just…”
She took another step towards him. She was inches from him now. There was no mistaking her intent. It was an obvious enticement for him to step closer to her.
On pure instinct, he moved back the same way a horse trots with quick, urgent steps when it comes upon a snake in the forest. He half turned so as not to run into Mr. Screech - but the man was no longer there.
He could see in Sheila’s face that she wanted him to talk to her, needed it even. He could hear her heart beat, could feel the blood quicken through her veins. What the fuck was going on? The slightest hint of her pungent, sticky sweet sex wafted to his nostrils. She was getting excited.
She took a deep breath as if trying to stop herself from talking, but failing in the attempt. “I’ve been waiting for you to talk to me tonight, Marcus,” she breathed.
She was? Really? When did she learn his first name?
Suddenly the fire in his head returned, the pins and needles causing brilliant white stars to explode across his vision. The words were spilling out of his mouth, and he couldn’t stop one from following another. “Sheila, would you like to get a hotel room with me?”
Her smile was modest, almost shy as she let out a low, throaty laugh. Her lips twisted into a lustful grin. “Yes, I would like that very much Marcus.”
Marcus sat in one of the room’s two chairs, his pants around his ankles. Sheila knelt naked in front of him, her head in his lap doing a rhythmic motion up and down, up and down. Her hands were tied behind her back with his necktie – something she begged him to do. She moaned softly as she worked on him, the only evidence she was even still breathing other than the motion of her head.
For hours, Marcus told Sheila what to do and she did it. She complied without question, without hesitation. Eagerly, even.
The fire in his head blazed even hotter, causing his thoughts to fragment and slip away from him. He felt like he was watching someone else, like he was wearing someone else’s skin but had no control. Words poured out of him continuously. He could not stop; it seemed to be integrated somehow in this whole bizarre experience.
He could read her inner desires, her secret thoughts, fears and impulses. Marcus manipulated her complex emotional state like a master pianist tickling the keys. Each thought, each fragment of feeling that Sheila kept buried in her head and heart, he unearthed. The more he did it, the more she fell under his control.
She became more compliant as the hours went by. The more aggressive he became, the more she seemed to like it. She offered to do things he wanted her to do without his being aware that he even wanted it. The lines between her desire and his blurred and fused into one strange, pulsing mess of flesh.
Finally, when he knew he didn’t have another drop of fluid in his body, he quietly suggested that Sheila get some rest. Without a word she stood up, walked over to the bed, lay down upon it, hands still tied behind her back. She was almost instantly asleep.
Marcus’ mind began to clear. He watched Sheila sleep for a few minutes, and then his eyes drifted towards the darkened bathroom, its door opened halfway.
Something in the darkness chuckled. “Well, well. Looks like old Mr. Screech still knows a thing or two about the ladies, doesn’t he?”
Marcus was not startled. He had identified the smell of decay hours ago. His mind connected it at once to Mr. Screech, but somehow he knew the old man was not a threat. Not to him, anyway. How he had gotten into the room, Marcus could not say.
The creature – and Marcus suspected somehow that was exactly what Mr. Screech was – waited in the darkness with all the patience of the grave. Somehow Mr. Screech was part of tonight’s strange events, and Marcus was at a loss to explain any of it.
Only the soft sounds Sheila made while sleeping broke the eerie stillness in the air. It was a silence that Marcus knew was his to break.
Say nothing, ignore the darkness and what lurked within it, and tomorrow life would go back to normal. Sheila would go home, shower and wonder just how many drinks she had consumed the night before in order to sleep with Marcus Palmer.
But choose to speak – talk to it – converse with the darkness, and it would be like setting a foot firmly on the road to Hell.
Mr. Screech waited. The silence stretched out between them - like evil waiting to be done.
When Marcus arrived at his house sometime after 4:00 a.m., he made no attempt to be quiet. Deliberately, he let the door slam behind him, and tossed his key ring carelessly on the dining room table.
The keys crashed into the glass tabletop, making a terrible racket as they skidded across the surface. He heard his wife stir from within their bedroom down the hall.
Marcus smiled, a thin, sinister smile - not unlike that of Mr. Screech.
Lily’s voice came simmering out of the stillness of slumber and quickly rolled to a furious boil. “Marcus? Jesus Christ, what time is it? Where the hell have you been!?!” Silence for a few brief moments, and then a groan. She was sitting up. “I threw up again a couple hours ago, so get your ass in here and clean it up! Four o’clock in the goddamn morning…”
A piece of the night stepped out from the shadows in the kitchen. “We really must do something about that woman,” Mr. Screech said. The darkness flowed off of him as he walked to stand aside Marcus. His shadow grew taller and more menacing with each step.
“Yes,” Marcus said. His brain was smoldering again with that same white-hot fire, causing him to stagger briefly. The vertigo was briefer this time. He took off his coat and tossed it over the back of one of the high backed chairs in the dining room. “I’ll go talk to her.”
“Wonderful,” Mr. Screech said. “I’ll make us both some tea. Do hurry, Marcus. We mustn’t tarry.”
The gossip around the law firm had been that Sheila Stevens and Marcus Palmer had been lovers for years. Most attributed the public loathing of one another to cleverly crafted deception.
When they found Lily Palmer’s vomit-stained body dangling from the brass gilded ceiling fan in the Palmer’s bedroom, the entire firm was taken aback. The gossip mill quickly ground out the story: Palmer’s wife hung herself, leaving a suicide note behind outlining her husband’s tawdry affair with Sheila.
The police had investigated, of course. A marriage gone sour, an affair, a “suicide” that was really a homicide. Sadly, it was the stuff of both TV Movies and reality.
But Sheila had substantiated Marcus’ story, and so did the clerk at the Hotel Pennsylvania. She told the police that they were in love and that yes, it was true that for the last four years, they were having an affair.
The Hotel produced records outlining when Marcus and Sheila arrived and left the night of Lily Palmer’s death. One of the third shift desk clerks even went so far as to remark that he had spoken with Marcus Palmer on the phone. He had called to ask for more towels, the man said.